I Can Breathe Again

1Just like that one song knocks the wind out of me. It is a random Thursday and I am in full mom/wife/work mode all at the same time. After a pretty unsuccessful nights sleep I throw on my jeans and a warm hoodie ready to tackle a busy day of “to do’s.” I drop off my wee spawn at school, a quick trip to the pharmacy and then to the grocery store.  One mini pit stop for some caffeine, I am killing it here.

The skies are gray today. It is the last day of November and I am anxiously awaiting white fluffy snow instead of all this wet. I am that true Canadian girl who loves the snow when it first appears. I love snow for Christmas and then by January I am wishing for heat and sunshine.  I swear I want to be wearing flip-flops by March. 🙂

As I am driving, the  wipers are screeching against the windshield. That is one sound that just sends me.  I turn the radio up nice and loud and do a little car dancing!! Have you ever heard a song many times but never quite listened to the lyrics? Today was that day for me.

Smack in the middle of my hoodie wearing Thursday morning, I was taken back. The flood of emotions had me feeling like I was drowning, unable to catch my breath. Tears were falling from my eyes as I heard the words. Every single thing I felt, empowered, scared, belittled, glorious, safe, righteous, alone, angry, joyous, all came pouring out at once. In my car as I sang this one song, in my jeans on a Thursday.

Let these moments happen. Embrace them and feel them, and then if you are anything like me you will laugh or giggle when it is all over. I do that when I am nervous. 🙂 My point is, we tend to shy away from our feelings because they may scare us or question things we aren’t comfortable with. You can give yourself permission to feel and only feel. I have this complete “moment” in my car and then I let it go. I didn’t then spend hours asking myself why. I have those answers and even some of them I don’t, and that is okay for today.

We are all in such a hurry to find solutions and “fix” who we are. Who decided we all needed so much fixing? Loving ourselves means loving all of the parts. Finding acceptance for the quirks and awesome weirdness that makes you the amazing individual you are. Loving yourself means forgiveness. Isn’t it amazing how easily we can forgive others, but not ourselves. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself. Whatever that looks like to you.

At times people are afraid to open up about their pain or sadness. They actually feel that if they get started they won’t be able to stop. It is a door they would like to keep closed. This is a common misconception. The truth is that by letting those tears flow, letting the hurt out, you are letting more room in for positive thoughts and feelings. Expressing your pain is a great way to make it stop.

So no more hiding those tears, pain, sadness or fears. They are all a very normal part of life and we all experience them. Whether we are alone in our cars listening to music or chatting with a good friend. Let the negative out and the positive in. ❤

“I am proud of who I am”

“No more monsters”

“I can breathe again”

*Kesha*

Much Love ❤

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