Sit down and put your feet up, we need to talk. I am about to tell you some things that you simply won’t believe to be true.  You may cry, but I promise a few laughs along the way. Take your time, it is all relevant and important. Try not to be offended, maybe just re read it in five years 🙂 . Yes I am well aware not everyone is the same. It is my favourite thing about the human race. These are just observations, advice and maybe a few Monday giggles. Enjoy.

The year is 2018, and in six short weeks I will celebrate, my forty-sixth birthday. The only thing that has made me sad about my forties, is how fast they seem to be going. Despite that, they have been the best time of my life. Thanks to social media we are inundated with “letters to my younger self” and as cute as they are, I always wonder how honest the authors are being. Buckle up for some honesty, but I really do wish I had been given this in my twenties.

• You deserve 3 ply toilet paper 

Yes it is more expensive, but you will use less. Your naked parts DESERVE this luxury okay.

• Always have a stockpile of said toilet paper

Why are we not taught this? At this stage in my life I have enough TP in case of a zombie apocalypse, but in my twenties I was forever running out. My daughter has still yet to learn this lesson. You will need this for life people….stock up.

• Learn to cook

Yes I said it. I know it is a modern time when men and women both cook. Yes I know you can call Uber Eats. Learn to cook, it is an essential skill to have in order to survive. Master some Kraft Dinner, soup, a mean bologna sandwich. It is a satisfying feeling to prepare and cook a meal that is not only edible but tastes amazing. (inside tip…when you do the cooking you usually can pass off dish duty to others in the house) Food is pretty, make it your friend 🙂

• If you have children, you will feel like a failure at some point

Have kids they said, you will love it they said!! Oh what a journey. At one point I had a child in kindergarten, a child in high school and a child in university. My eyebrows started graying that year. You cannot be a parent and not feel like you are failing, many times. You will inevitably be told you are hated and you are ruining their lives, because well, they become teenagers. It can be a thankless, heartache, soul crushing job. Hang on, they become human adults with emotions eventually. They apologize for ever giving you grief and say things like “Was I ever like that?” You will smile and shake your head in disbelief. As crazy as it sounds, enjoy the mayhem because the house gets very quiet very quick. ❤

• Find your own identity NOW

I graduated high school, went to college, got married, became a mom……and woke up many years later. There were jobs in there and wife things and mom things. Before I knew it, twenty years had passed and I was lost. Being a mom is my favourite thing, but you need your own identity. Your job is to make them independent of you, and then what? That was when I realized I had been keeping myself extremely busy to avoid seeing how unhappy I was in my life. Hard choices had to be made. Do yourself a favour and keep your life in front of you at all times. Do not bury it, live it in real-time. Live the emotions and make sure you are happy. If not, make those hard decisions because life deserves to be lived happily.

• Make Real Memories

This is an easy one to spot with social media. The perfectly posed family portraits and the staged family getaways. We have all been there. Trying to pack up the car to take the kids to the zoo. It is August, bumper to bumper traffic, one child missed their nap and the other was ready to get out of the car ten minutes after you left. You missed the exit and now your husband is in such a great mood 🙂 . After spending hundreds of dollars to see smelly goats and forcing your children to stand next to grown men dressed in polar bear costumes, you head home. You post those pictures with quotes like “best family trip ever,”  while thinking ….”OMG I am never doing that again.”

We need to stop trying to do what is considered “expected” of us. Well, everyone in mom group took their kids to the zoo sooooo. NO STOP THAT. Think outside the box here people. If money is tight, fill a kiddie pool in the backyard with bubbles and water, throw them some freezies and make a picnic. As long as their parents are hanging with them they will be elated. Make some REAL MEMORIES. Build forts in the basement with blankets and have a sleepover, watching movies. They will remember that for years.

 

• Put Yourself First

Nobody is as important as you. Read it again. Even if you are a mom, especially if you are a mom. Yes, I know you would give your life for them. Here is what happens to all of us. We sacrifice all we have taking care of our children, our spouses, doing our jobs, taking care of chores around the house, friends, family and on and on and on, eventually we get to ourselves. We pay attention to our own needs usually when something medically  force us into that situation. At that point we are no good for anyone. What we are missing here is that mentally we are breaking down. Just because we are physically capable of continuing, mentally we are exhausted. Do not get me wrong, at the end of each day we are falling into that bed wondering how we managed. Our brains on the other hand still have to make room for appointments, school projects, practices, grocery shopping, etc. With each passing day we slip further and further away. You cannot possibly be the best mom, spouse, friend or worker you want to be, being this worn out. Very few of us will admit to needing or wanting help.

I am here telling you this will catch up to you. Your body will force you to slow down. Before that happens, delegate some of the responsibility. Take time for just you. An hour for a relaxing hot bath, a yoga class, anything that involves time for just you. Your brain and your body will thank you in ways you aren’t even aware yet.

• Your Sex Life Will Get Better

I know, you are young and think it is probably amazing. Trust me it is going to get EVEN better!! Life in your twenties and thirties is crazy busy with young kids and always being tired. Well, guess what? They grow into teenagers who are barely home and then move out. 🙂 Not only will you find yourself spending more time with your partner, but your house is going to be empty. Oh, and I should add that as you “mature” you will hopefully lose that shy part of yourself and start telling your partner what you like and don’t like during sex. No seriously, do yourself a favour and start talking during sex. ❤

• Surround Yourself With Love and Laughter

I truly wish I would have learned this much earlier in my life. You owe nobody an explanation for how you choose to live your life. There was a time I wasn’t happy with the reflection I saw in the mirror. It wasn’t the physical appearance, but the sadness within had changed me. I made some difficult choices. I love fiercely, I laugh hard, I appreciate gentleness and kindness. I take nothing for granted. That is what I surround myself with each day. If you do that it will fuel your heart and soul.

With Much Love and 3 Ply Toilet Paper ❤